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Post by texasleaguer on Feb 27, 2018 12:55:00 GMT -6
Asked a girl yesterday "what's more massive, the Earth or the moon?" her blank stare said more than any response ever could have.
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Post by dieselfitter on Feb 27, 2018 12:57:56 GMT -6
Had a girl years ago in Middle School get pissed at me cause I wouldn't let her to go the bathroom. Said and I quote, "I'm gonna bleed all over your mother f&cking chair then cause I'm on my mother f*cking period!!!"
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Post by xdipster on Feb 27, 2018 13:05:12 GMT -6
Cultural differences are funny: Had a 7th grade girl in the middle of the class said," Coach Sims, I gotta boo boo." I took it as she hurt her knee or something and asked if she'd like me to look at it. Welcome to the hood, Coach Sims. Welcome to the hood.
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Post by Hitch on Feb 27, 2018 13:12:59 GMT -6
Our keek kids don't seem to know the difference between ground and floor. I always here them say, while we're OUTSIDE on the turf, 'hey, keep it on the floor, quey."
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Post by xdipster on Feb 27, 2018 13:14:30 GMT -6
roof and ceiling too I bet.
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Post by xdipster on Feb 27, 2018 13:20:58 GMT -6
watching a wwI video once in class....kid raises his hand and asks "was it black and white in real life too"? once when talking about religions of the world had one raise his hand and was extremely proud to be an atheist.....stud clapped and told him congratulations....same kid 3 months later....stud walks buy his desk and he has written on his book cover "satin rules"....so stud asked him if satin was his favorite fabric.....after much discussion the kid tells stud that it says "satan rules"..... so after the grammar lesson stud had to explain to him that he doesn't believe in satan.....to which the kid argued for a while.....same kid, during the reformation lesson stud had the kids do research and write a report....stud made sure that kid got john calvin....fellow coach's story....he had a girl in class that got pregnant....she was a really good kid and not one you would think would end up pregnant in high school....any way, the coach says something to her about it and her response was "we didn't even have a null sects".....after a few minutes she explained that you could only get pregnant from a null..... perfect response.
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Post by TOBC on Feb 27, 2018 13:37:52 GMT -6
had a boy and girl get into an argument in class.
girl: you're a worthless piece of shat! boy: wh0re!!! girl: *look of shock* no wonder your dad left you and your mom because you're both psychos! boy: call me a psycho again and i'll put a mushroom stamp on your forehead!
me: both of you hit the road. me: *laughs because i've never heard mushroom stamp before and had to google it*
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Post by mrwig on Feb 27, 2018 13:45:37 GMT -6
i just had a parent in an ARD meeting say this:
mom- look i'm not gonna lie, my son ain't s#1t. He only wants to do auto/tech because he thinks working with his hands is easier than working with his brain. the fker don't even like putting puzzles together
took everything i had not to bust out laughing.......
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Post by dieselfitter on Feb 27, 2018 13:50:34 GMT -6
Told a mom in one of the above mentioned meatings/meetings that her son wasn't going to be a division I athlete...no way, no how, not gonna happen...her look of bewilderment was truly amusing considering we were in the meeting to discuss moving him out of all the sp ed classes he barely passed and into general ed classes and to retake all said sp ed classes so he could go DI...
Then she asked, "and why the h3ll isn't he going DI?"
Me: "Well ma'am, he's a junior on the JV B team...and the only reason he's on that team is because we don't have a JV C team..."
She cried....
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Post by Hoss on Feb 27, 2018 14:13:01 GMT -6
During World Geo. I had a kid tell me her and her family went to China that past summer. I asked if it was on a mission trip or what were they doing when you went to China? Her response was, "well we were already in San Francisco, so we stopped by one afternoon."
First day of school procedures in Odessa. Young lady raises her hand;
girl-"What do we do if someone starts to m@sterbate in class?" me-"we will cross that bridge when we get there." girl-"Coach, the bridge is here!" as she points to special eddy sitting next to her.
I told everyone to go outside and then dismissed them for the day. Went and got the AP and when we came back all the students were gone. He asked where they were and I said I told them they could go to the library, cafeteria, gym or just go home, no one trains you on how to respond in that situation. It was 10am.
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Post by dieselfitter on Feb 27, 2018 14:15:36 GMT -6
Yeah, I don't remember signing up for "how to respond to the off beater 101" in the old education classes at NWOSU...
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Post by Hoss on Feb 27, 2018 14:17:27 GMT -6
You could tell he wanted to be mad, but couldn't come up with a good, "Well, what you should have done is..."
Definitely not without laughing.
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Post by moxWASmybackup on Feb 27, 2018 14:19:29 GMT -6
You could tell he wanted to be mad, but couldn't come up with a good, "Well, what you should have done is..." Definitely not without laughing. This story creates chuckles every time you tell it...
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Post by ThedamGOAT on Feb 27, 2018 14:20:44 GMT -6
Hey Coach Pickle just smashed his dick on the leg press. Blood everywhere
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Post by dieselfitter on Feb 27, 2018 14:21:59 GMT -6
Hey Coach Pickle just smashed his dick on the leg press. Blood everywhere Why the h3ll was Coach Pickle lifting with the kids and why was his D out?
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Post by newcoach on Feb 27, 2018 14:29:22 GMT -6
"Coach what country is Poland in?"
I failed as a teacher.
"So, can the drug dogs smell traces of weed inside your car?" "Timmy, do you have weed in your car?" "No......"
Five minutes later "Coach can I go to my car to get something" "What" "Ummm......a binder"
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Post by Hitch on Feb 27, 2018 15:14:25 GMT -6
Was this kid's name WIG?.........
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Post by Burnet44 on Feb 27, 2018 23:16:48 GMT -6
So far this whole thread is one day behind the fence As noted JV C team
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Post by Hitch on Feb 28, 2018 6:53:36 GMT -6
My father coached in Eagle Pass when I little and I remember him telling a story about how one of the kids got stepped on and he said, and I quote, "Coash, my foot fingers hurt!"......
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Post by xdipster on Feb 28, 2018 10:26:20 GMT -6
During World Geo. I had a kid tell me her and her family went to China that past summer. I asked if it was on a mission trip or what were they doing when you went to China? Her response was, "well we were already in San Francisco, so we stopped by one afternoon." First day of school procedures in Odessa. Young lady raises her hand; girl-"What do we do if someone starts to m@sterbate in class?" me-"we will cross that bridge when we get there." girl-"Coach, the bridge is here!" as she points to special eddy sitting next to her. I told everyone to go outside and then dismissed them for the day. Went and got the AP and when we came back all the students were gone. He asked where they were and I said I told them they could go to the library, cafeteria, gym or just go home, no one trains you on how to respond in that situation. It was 10am. That kid has de-DIK-ation. Get it?
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