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I AM BACK
Aug 30, 2018 13:33:30 GMT -6
via mobile
Post by darthappy on Aug 30, 2018 13:33:30 GMT -6
After a long hiatus I am glad to be back. Wasn’t aware until today that it was still up and running. Mini yourself and Hitch, my brotha from anotha Motha, told me so here I am.
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Post by darthappy on Aug 30, 2018 14:04:19 GMT -6
My first of 2018
A grocery store employee is working in the produce department when a customer approaches and asks to buy half a head of lettuce.
"You can't buy just half a head, we sell them whole." says the employee.
The customer responds "Go get your manager, and I'll ask him."
So the employee goes to his manager and says "Some a$$hole out there wants to buy just one half of a lettuce head...", then suddenly realizes the customer is right behind him, so he turns and gestures "and this nice gentleman would like to buy the other half!"
After the customer leaves, the manager says "That was pretty quick thinking, where are you from?"
The kid says "I'm from Canada."
"So why didn't you stay there? Isn't it a beautiful country?"
"Yea, but the place is full of either whores or hockey players." Said he kid.
"My wife is from Canada!" growls the manager.
"No Sh*t?" Asks the kid without losing a beat, "Who'd she play for?"
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Post by Hitch on Aug 30, 2018 14:07:23 GMT -6
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!
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Post by Hitch on Aug 30, 2018 14:08:25 GMT -6
Welcome back, my BROTHA!!!! I moved this thread to general discussion so we can all enjoy it!
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Post by darthappy on Aug 30, 2018 14:44:18 GMT -6
As you should
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Post by Hitch on Aug 30, 2018 14:45:18 GMT -6
need to find you an appropriate avatar now.
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Post by Hitch on Aug 31, 2018 8:38:53 GMT -6
Notes taken.
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Post by TOBC on Aug 31, 2018 9:06:33 GMT -6
welcome back dart!
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Post by acsl8ter on Aug 31, 2018 13:18:24 GMT -6
that was funny
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Post by darthappy on Sept 5, 2018 7:26:52 GMT -6
Another oldie but a goodie
An old cowboy sat down at the bar and ordered a drink. As he sat sipping his drink, a young woman sat down next to him. She turned to the cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"
He replied, "Well, I've spent my whole life, breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy."
She said, "I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women. When I shower, I think about women. When I watch TV, I think about women. I even think about women when I eat. It seems that everything makes me think of women."
The two sat sipping in silence.
A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"
He replied, "I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian."
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Post by darthappy on Sept 5, 2018 7:27:36 GMT -6
BTW Hitch.....love my avatar
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Post by darthappy on Sept 5, 2018 7:32:23 GMT -6
I truly can't help myself
A drunk walks into a bar, orders a shot and and immediately pukes all over his own shirt. "Wha' my gonna do now? My wifez gonna kill me."
"Relax," the bartender says, "give me a twenty dollar bill." The bartender folds up the bill and puts it in the guy's shirt pocket. "Tell your wife some drunk puked on you and gave you twenty bucks to have your shirt cleaned."
"Thass a great idea!"
When the drunk gets home his wife answers the door and she is pissed. "Where have you been? What happened to your shirt?"
He tries to put on a sober voice and says, "Relaaax honey, some drunk guy puked on me and gave me twenty bucks to have my shirt cleaned."
The drunk's wife reaches in his pocket, grabs the money, and says, "There's $40 in here!"
"Oh yeah, he sh*t my pants, too."
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Post by Hitch on Sept 5, 2018 7:48:57 GMT -6
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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Post by Hitch on Sept 5, 2018 7:49:11 GMT -6
BTW Hitch.....love my avatar It's a daisy.
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Post by TOBC on Sept 5, 2018 9:23:19 GMT -6
that's awesome
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Post by darthappy on Sept 5, 2018 12:40:12 GMT -6
Three guys were sitting in a biker bar. A man came in, already drunk, sat down at the bar and ordered a drink. The man looked around and saw the 3 men sitting at a corner table. He got up, staggered to the table, leaned over, looked the biggest one in the face and said, "I went by your grandma's house and I saw her in the hallway, buck naked. Man, she is fine!" The biker looked at him and didn't say a word. His buddies were confused,because he was a bad arse, and would fight at he drop of a hat. The drunk leaned on the table again and said, "I got it on with your grandma and she is good, the best I ever had!" The biker still said nothing. His buddies were starting to get mad. The drunk leaned on the table again and said, "I'll tell you something else boy, your grandma liked it!" The biker stood up, took the drunk by the shoulder and said, "dam it, Grandpa, you're drunk! Go home!"
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Post by Hitch on Sept 5, 2018 13:18:34 GMT -6
bWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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